Relationships

CELIBACY

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Definition: “Celibacy is the state of abstaining from sexual relations.”

From my understanding, typically people who practice celibacy aren’t necessarily virgins. Celibacy is not gender specific, this is usually a conscious decision for personal or religious/spiritual reasons. In a generation were sex is just as available as a handshake this is probably one of the hardest things to do because its literally everywhere you turn to, your tv, magazines, novels, clubs, the workplace, even walking down the street. Sex is the most overrated thing in the world, and it has always been for centuries. It also can be a very beautiful thing especially when its done right, but I’m sure you knew that already (laughs). Also what a vast majority of people don’t seem to grasp is that as much as it is amazing it is also very powerful and spiritual. In the world today we have a lot of young people who aren’t done learning their calculus and algebra participating in this act. A lot of people aren’t mentally mature enough to handle the emotional attachment, irrespective of gender. Sex is such an intense act that it could stir up strong feelings and if not done when you’re fully developed could lead to dysfunction or depression. There are lots of repercussions associated with having sex such as: STDs, Pregnancy, Soul Ties, and Emotional attachment. Yes, I’m aware condoms exist but there are lots of STDs that are immune to condoms like herpes, warts, of which once you are infected, there’s no cure, as it never leaves the bloodstream but it can be suppressed for a while. There are lots of contraceptives in existence but there’s never a 100% guarantee and also some have major side effects. In a bid not to sound overly religious I just have to emphasize on the consequences of soul ties. Sex was made by God for marriages between two people, he did this for a reason, sex intertwines people together. Now this is very debatable as this isn’t physical, but if you’re aware of the spirit realm then you cant be oblivious to this fact. Have you ever had sexual intercourse with a person so much that no matter how much time passes or how they hurt you, you cant stop thinking about it even if it was never that great? You find yourself in a new amazing relationship and you’re still thinking about Tunde and how he used to put his back into it. Any time you have sexual intercourse with a person you carry a bit of them with you, now again this isn’t physical so it’s not visible. We all have energies and destinies and fates but we put a lot of this at risk, a lot of people are extremely cynical or have negative energies and vibes and having sex with such a person can honestly block your blessings. Have you ever come across someone you couldn’t stand but you were physically attracted to? You love the body but not the soul, when you have sexual intercourse you do so with the body and soul. “my people perish for the lack of knowledge” Hosea 4:5. Lastly, celibacy is a journey, it is extremely vital especially in todays relationships were everything consists of sex, and sex is meant to be the icing on the cake and not the cake itself. Celibacy helps both parties focus on what really matters which is each other. Are we compatible? Can we have intellectual conversations? Does he/she bring out my negative traits or suppress them? Do I genuinely like this person? Do we have the same interests? Can I live with this person for the rest of my life? Do our visions align? All of this tends to go unanswered when you’re both focusing on how to jump each other’s bones at every chance you get. Celibacy is what I call the perfect antidote for “fuck boys/girls” it is the best way to weed out the unserious and uncommitted partners out of your life. It can help a spouse determine whether they really love you enough and aren’t willing to lose you by staying with you regardless of the lack of sexual intimacy. Celibacy also helps build a stronger friendship between both parties, which is the most reliable foundation of any marriage. Ever noticed how when you start “talking to someone” and then proceed to being intimate, the real conversations begin to reduce? And all you have left is “Have you eaten” “How was your day”. That’s because the friendship foundation wasn’t strong enough for both parties to really get in each other’s systems, which happens when you’re not friends for a decent amount of time. Now I’m very cognizant of the fact that not everyone is spiritual and some people feel liberated through casual sex and that’s perfectly fine, but these are just my own thoughts and I thought I should share.

Are you celibate? How long have you been practicing? What inspired you to practice celibacy?

Thanks for reading.

E Bozimo.

Love &Light xo

SHORT LETTER TO THE BROKEN HEARTED

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Dear Queen/King,

I heard you’re going through a break up and finding a hard time with the situation and I’m sorry to hear that. You loved him/her, I know you did. So deeply and never knew it will ever come to an end like this. You never imagined you’d be back to your boring old routine, sleeping next to those stiff pillows all alone. Waking up to non-existent morning messages, and not having anyone to talk about your day with or caring if you’ve eaten or not. Staring at old pictures and having to explain to people what went wrong. You miss the banter, the company and just his/her smile. I get it, the what ifs, its hard.. change always is. You’re overwhelmed, the memories are still so vivid, but don’t ignore it, allow yourself to feel, feel every pain. Cry if you must, let it all out, vent to your friends or anyone with ears. Your pain must be felt, don’t hold it in. They stopped loving you? You both weren’t medically compatible? they cheated? Your parents couldn’t get with the program? Or was it just dysfunctional? However, whatever the reason for the break up, it has happened, your life is a little different now, all you’ve gotten accustomed to has changed but its not the end. It happened for a reason, and as bad as it hurts you have to pick up the remaining pieces and keep it moving. Resist the urge to ask them to take you back, you can’t beg people to be in your life, go accomplish your goals and they’d be begging to be in it. You’re life shouldn’t stop because of a failed relationship; there’s more of life ahead, a lot more beautiful memories. Life is like a movie and you’re presently at a chapter of a script and I promise you there’s a lot more ahead only if you’d keep moving. Don’t dwell on what could’ve been, everything has a way of coming together nicely so be glad that you’re out of something that probably wasn’t destined. Eventually the dots in our lives start to connect and we get a better understanding why it had to happen when and how it did. You want closure, you expect it but you’re not entitled to it, from anyone. Closure is an illusion, it’s the desire for things to end the way you want it to without thinking about what is healthier for you or them. I’m a firm believer that people who are meant to be in your life will come back no matter how far they wander. But also, don’t be too fixated on why it never worked out that you miss out on the amazing person God has for you. Keep on keeping on, eventually at the end of the movie, you smile.

E Bozimo.

Love and Light xo