Hey guys, its been a short minute but i’ve been taking some time to work on some other things and you know just do life… ya’ll know how adulting can be lol. I promise to be a bit more consistent :-).. Sooo okay I recently just went on a summer break and visited two countries, England and Turkey. It was very much needed as I haven’t been able to leave the country for a while. One of the most beautiful things about traveling for me is getting to explore different cultures and the diversity. I’d rather save to travel than to get a new bag/shoes… yes, i’m that girl. I just find it so fascinating how different countries have different habits and ways of life and that to me is the biggest life eye opener. We tend to live in a bubble when we are only exposed to our own environments and reality, there is soooo much out there to see.
Living in Nigeria as many of you know is such an experience, as they say if you can live in Nigeria, you can live anywhere else. A lot of things we get adapted to, without even realising. One substantial thing I’ve noticed about Nigerians, is how friendly and interactive we are as a society, this is something I think most of us take for granted till you visit other countries at least. I was on the TFL train that goes to Liverpool street in London and I was so exhausted from the night before. When you’re on holiday you tend to over maximise the few days you have. I was so tired and kept drifting in and out of sleep. I noticed this white lady stared at me for like 5 secs and I thought to myself “what exactly is she looking at?” only to realise 30 seconds later that the train had gotten to the last stop and I was still seated because i slept off. (if only i had a penny, LOL) I was the only one left on the train. The lady didn’t say anything to me, like literally no one hinted me or tapped me, nada. In Nigeria?? That could never happen, someone must wake you up because we subconsciously look out for each other, either out of friendliness or out of just being in each other’s business.
If you happen to live in an apartment building in Nigeria and you have clothes out while it starts to rain and you’re out, a neighbour will pick out your clothes pending when you get back.
In England, not so much.. I mean you can actually live next door to someone for years with out ever saying a word. All you guys will probably do is smile at each other occasionally. There was a day I had locked myself out in my airbnb apartment in London…the horror!!! I called my host but he was working at a restaurant and couldn’t make it back. I stood out in the cold (the little corridor between the door and the glass door) for hours… I was still there. i sat, i sang, i slept… The neighbour’s saw me but went about their business lol. I was there till my host asked one of the neighbour’s to give me the spare key. Thank God there was a spare key around to begin with LOL. In Nigeria that could never happen, you’d probably get invited into a neighbours home till you get sorted out. As a society English people generally just aren’t that social even with themselves. It’s very intriguing, they might not be the most friendly when it comes to day-to-day activities but professionally they are top notch. They are always so warm and inviting. From the girl that works as a sales assistant in zara to the bank manager at Nat West, their professionalism is something worth emulating. Nigerians are generally warm, friendly and extremely interactive but professionally it always depends on their mood… You never know what you’d get and sometimes it’s almost as if they pour their frustrations with their jobs on the customers.
Also, in Nigeria I have always struggled with working out, I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this. I try to do brisk walking for about 20 minutes and I get so tired and I want to pass out. But what I just suddenly realised is, it’s not that my body is tired, it’s just the environment is not very conducive. In London you tend to walk a lot, from your house to the station (usually 5-15) minutes, from the station to your destination (say 10-15 minutes) and then back again. Visiting this summer I’m pretty sure I did a 2 hour walk every day without complaints. From visiting friends, to shopping, to going out to eat. The environment, the shops on the street, the calming smell of coffee, the weather, the breath of fresh air, all of this stimulates the brain so you don’t get tired easily, it motivates you. In Nigeria the system is organised in a way where you don’t walk a lot, and even when you make the conscious effort to do, the heat, noisy cars and horns, will not let you do for so long.
Also on my trip I noticed how paranoid and alert I’d get while someone was walking so close behind me on the street, or when I heard a really loud sound or some dodgy movements. These are things i feel I’ve picked up from living in Nigeria, instinctive survival skills because anything can happen at anytime so you have to be extremely alert.
So on my Turkish trip, I visited Istanbul which is the capital, although quite short but was very eventful, it was a lot to take in actually. Right from the airport, I started to notice how people looked at me differently, the men most especially. An airport staff who was supposedly to help me in getting my visa, kept trying to get me to smoke with him. His English was terrible so I could barely hear what he was saying, next thing I knew I was in a hallway that reeked of weed lol the horror. In getting to my hotel the stares continued and made me so uncomfortable. At first I was scared because of the fact it’s a predominantly muslim country so maybe i was indecently dressed but then I realised these stares weren’t about prejudice but pure lust. These men were looking at me like a snack. The hotel staff who was trying to help me sort out the wifi for my room started to ask for my number and asked if he could book a room so I could come over. I mean as unprofessional as Nigerians could be I had never experienced this in Nigeria. In getting to explore the town I started to walk around and this is where it gets interesting, Literally every driver would stare and look at me like I was just thrown into a lions den. Some would stop, and start speaking to me in Turkish, and some would just tap their friends to look at me. Some would stop their cars and offer to drop me at my desired destination. I mean, I’m a beautiful girl but even I knew it wasn’t about that. I later realised that they have a very strong fetish for blacks. The darker you are the more infatuated they became. They literally treat blacks like celebrities in some parts and this was such a breath of fresh air to me because it goes against the narrative of racism. If i ever thought Nigerians were friendly these people took it a whole other level bruv. I had never felt so exotic, so desirable and all because of my dark skin color. It was an empowering feeling because the attention and love was overwhelming and i’m definitely coming back with my girlfriends this time.
This is probably one of the reasons I love to travel and explore other countries and cultures, the fact that there is a lot to soak in and experience. So if you’re a black girl/guy and you like your snowflakes then Turkey is definitely the country for you… they love us out there lol.
Now, all these were my experiences, the beautiful people I met, amazing places I went to, all play a huge factor in this, I could go back next year and experience different situations altogether.. Every country has it’s own unique culture and although I believe we can all learn something from the other, this doesn’t make any better than the next.. we’re just all different due to different histories and experiences.. and I look forward to exploring a lot more of the world with you guys.
Thanks for reading
Love & Light xo
OVERCOMING THE FEAR OF LEAPING
Definition Of fear: ‘‘Fear is a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain etc’’
Now this is something a loooot of us possess, some more than others, and it gets the best of us but you know what? Fear is just an illusion, its an emotion like any other emotion like love, compassion etc, we just gave it more power. Its something we’ve created in our minds and its not real, it’s a restriction of the mind. Fear is one the reasons most people don’t tap into their true potential, the fear of the unknown, judgment, perception of others, criticism and the pain of leaving your comfort zone but nothing great ever happens there, ever. Fear can be used as a fuel and a drive, it should keep you up at night studying, it should make you rehearse your lines before public speaking, it should make you practice day and night when preparing for the Olympics, It should make you study about a company before going for an interview. It is not your enemy, it’s your friend. What have you allowed fear to do in your life? A lot of people stand on the edge of their greatness due to fear. “I have to wait till the right time” “I have to lose this weight first” “I have to get enough money first” we feel we have forever but in reality all we really have is now. You might be working at an organisation because it pays well, while you put your dream on the back burner but what you’re actually doing is helping someone else achieve his or her dream. If they didn’t chase their dream you wouldn’t even be working there to start with. No matter how little support or resources you have, you can always start with what you have to pursue your God given passion. Once you’re in alignment with Gods plan, you’d be shocked at the people that will drift towards you, these people are called destiny helpers. Fear will have you rock back and forth in your head just so you don’t leap. Yes, you might fail actually, but what if you don’t, what if you soar? what if all you need is to take that first step and let the universe play its part. Optimists are five times more likely to fail and 10 times more likely to succeed than the pessimists and the realists because guess what they aren’t scared of taking risks. The most successful people in the world today lose more money than the average while the average earner might not lose but remains stagnant. So whatever it is you feel you want to achieve, but it seems quite unattainable at the moment, you must first silence your mind, make daily attempts towards it, then go conquer. A lot of times we are given a vision but we procrastinate and stall because of the chattering in our mind that says were not ready or good enough, while our intuition and gut feeling requires us to act now. Your brain is designed to keep you safe, to keep you complacent and comfortable, while your soul and intuition wants you to soar. Don’t dim your light because your scared, instead shine to the maximum and if for any brief moment your light gets to someone in the midst of darkness and they get to see themselves even for just a second then you’ve achieved a lot. When you realise that your vision has less to do with you and more to do with everyone that’s blessed to cross your path you’d take action right this minute. You are the author of your life, the pen is right in your hands, why not make it a memorable one? Whoever sold us this dream that we have to be comfortable all the time? I don’t know about you but id rather inconvenience myself so I can make my mark in this world and secure a great future for myself than be ordinary because guess what darling, extra ordinary is where its at and the bottom is waaay TOO crowded.
Love and Light xo
God is that you?
I find myself asking this question at least twice everyday. “God is that you”? Trying to distinguish between you and my own thoughts was always quite a challenge, still is if I’m being honest. But in my walk with you I’ve come to realise a few things. You always speak to us, always, from when we wake up to when we shut our eyes, and even in our dreams. But some of us live such busy and noisy lives we don’t get to hear you actually speak, they’re always people and things happening around us so we never stay still. A large percentage of us pray, which is one of the most effective ways of communicating with God, but one thing, we don’t listen afterwards. Communication is a two way street, imagine talking to a friend and after you’re done you hang up. Lol exactly. God speaks to us all the time, not literally but in our spirits, meditation is a very apt way of hearing from God/the universe (whichever you believe in). Take a few minutes in the day or after prayer to be in tune with your inner self and just listen. Also, when God is trying to send a message to you, he is literally everywhere, your TV, instagram feed, twitter, people, offer that same message, its creepy really. I’m one of those people that love asking for signs, then I get it but then I ask for another to be sure the last one was an actual sign (laughs). Especially in relationships, deep down we know wah gwan because your intuition already tells you something is wrong, we ask for signs anyway and God being who he is always sends it but we ignore it anyway. Although now I try to act on faith once I’ve confirmed I’ve heard from him. God loves us and watches over us constantly, I used to think that was just what people said to comfort us in crisis until I became closer to God. I started to feel him around me daily and it was empowering. “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you, he will never leave or forsake you” Deuteronomy 31.6. Fasting is another way of hearing from God, we take out a few days to feed our spirit and focus on God. A lot us of do the 6am-6pm and In that time we don’t eat, we pray and worship but then once its 6pm we go back to feeding our fleshy desires. We watch all these TV shows and movies and read books that edify our body and do nothing to our spirit. The purpose of fasting is not to ask for a favor but to hang out with God, get to know him a little better and strengthen your spirit. Whatever you feed will thrive and whatever you starve will die, it’s that simple. You’re not doing God a favor by fasting; it’s to your own benefit. If for those few days you focus whole heartedly on your spirit you’d be surprised at how God will show up in your life. I remember when I started to fast I would sleep all through because i’d get so tired and hungry to pray and worship or Id watch TBN and faith TV for one hour then switch to series or trace but I noticed I wasn’t gaining anything. Then I started to grow spiritually so I started to sacrifice a lot more, put in more time during praying and worshiping, watching sermons online and the same TBN and faith TV, all week but this time I actually enjoyed it. One thing that’s certain is when you start to chase God with your genuine heart you will love to hear about him. It’s like when you start dating that guy and you just cant stop talking about him cause you’re so into him so you’re so eager to hear what different people have to say about him. God is everywhere; all you need is a clean temple and an ear to hear. He loves us all and wants to be close to us and direct our paths, and the stronger your spirit is the more you can hear from him.
Thanks for reading…
Love & Light xo