You are the strongest emotion in the world. The one thing we all have in common that connects us. It’s very debatable if you’re an emotion or a decision. But if you ask me you’re definitely the former. I wish you were an actual decision I chose but I didn’t. You’re a variety of mixed feelings. You are energy, never at a steady frequency, the highs and the lows. You always spring up when we’re barely paying any attention. Most importantly, you have no whys? We don’t choose you, you choose us. Love, such a beautiful feeling…
Lying next to you in absolute silence and loving and appreciating every moment. Feeling you’re heartbeat against my face and knowing this is exactly where I want to be at that very moment. Watching you when you’re ill and knowing I’d do anything humanly possible to take your pain away. Getting a call from you that you’re outside my house and all my insides light up like a kid at a candy store. Staring into each other’s eyes in moments of passion and wishing this moment lasted forever. Hearing your name or seeing it pop up on my cell phone and my heart skips a bit.
But one question, how are you so magical, yet so damaging.. how do you make me feel the best I’ve ever felt and the worst at the same time.. How do you have so much power over me?
Those nights we fight and have heated disagreements that have me questioning my self esteem at 2am.. the times we go on for days without speaking and I cant seem to breathe properly, or when everyone seems to notice your little flaws except me.. those times i wondered if I was under a spell.. those nights you had me staring at the mirror wondering if I was enough.. Laughing and talking to you and feeling extremely sad because one day something could happen and it could all be over.. and all I’d be left with are memories.. Drinking myself to sleep so I could drown the thoughts of you.. Hearing a song you love on the radio and contemplating dialing your number.. Re listening to old voice notes from you just to hear your voice again.. Watching a movie and missing our side to side banter and commentary.
All the violent words, jealousy and confrontation that get us wanting to kill each other but we end up tearing our clothes in passion.
You know what’s funny? I love it all, the highs and the lows, maybe I’m a masochist, because all these… are what keeps me satisfied.
Dear Love, how do you have so much power?
Have you ever been in love? what was your experience? please share your thoughts below…
Love and Light xo